The Whisper in the Noise... The Voice of My Soul!

Hey

There has been a SMALL address change...
i have shifted to a new blog after been here for almost two years....

the link is http://my-life-adee.blogspot.com/


Loved this place to much.. but i guess things change, hopefully for the better!

Love,
Adee...

Hi...

I think this beautiful song by James Blunt will do all the talking for me this time... am too shattered and scared to say anything else...

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.


Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.


Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.


Love,
Adee...

Hey there...

Happy Friendship's day! :o)
I hope u had fun with all your friends today...

First and foremost, i would like to apologize to one of my very close friends... every friendship's day i am always the first one to call him and wish him at the stroke of midnight... but i couldnt this time... I am so sorry!

Saturday was a GOOD day... SM came down and coffee as usual. i got a coffee mug too, which i am absolutely in love with! :D
after that, mom and dad were in a VERY good mood so we went shopping... we brought a lot of cloths and i got a new iron (istri wala) for me.. which i needed badly...

The next day started at 8.. i got ready and went to office... yes, on a Sunday, morning, 9 am, on the friendship's day, i was in the office... by the way, i rejoined the office, and speaking is still a problem with me...
after that PP messaged me and asked whether i wanted to see a FRENCH movie.. i said hell yeah.... i wanted to do something totally new for quite sometime now.. .and here was my golden chance..

So by 2:30 we were at AF watching a french movie! it was a lot Bollywood block buster... but there was no happy ending to it... it was a story of a guy with a hunch back and his family.. he had great ideas and wanted to have his own farm, but his evil neighbor had other plans… they managed to run his farm out of water,,, the poor old guy tired very hard to get water and cultivate his field somehow, but it didn’t work (thanks to the evil people of the small village!). meanwhile, there was a spring in his area that he didn’t know about, but the evil people knew and choose not to tell him… eventually he died and his wife and daughter had to sell the farm to the evil people.. they had to leave, but not before the daughter finds out about the spring in the farm…

It was a tragic ending.. but then I came to know that all French movies usually have a sad ending… as PP put it, “they take pride in making emotional movies”… I wonder why….
If it had been a Hindi movie, the hunch back would have thrown a fist on the ground and water would have sprung out of there, “miraculously!” hehehe.. over all, I enjoyed the experience of comprehending French subtitles… some of the key words were similar to that in English… so I could understand some parts of it, though not all…. :o)

Well, today is 4th August, and I will be rejoining office after my Tiny Vacation… went to the gym today…
Confession time: when I said that my weight was 68, well, it was not dot 68… it was 68.7… but 68 sounded so much better,,, I checked me weight today at the gym and it was 66.6… I was shocked… three days of work and I lost 2 kg???? I could not believe what I saw… may be the machine was wreaked or something… but if its true… yaaayyy!
I lost 2 kg already! Hehehehe :o)

Have to go to office now…
Wish me luck! :D

Today i had a very silent day.. i just moved around silently in my house.. no phones, no conversations... nothing...
But some thoughts did come up today...

i was sad today.. i know why, but there is nothing i can do about it.... one of my closest friends isn't talking to me... make that two... i used to message the first one everyday at least once, but i am not receiving any replies for his side.. so i decided to stop.. but not talking to him is taking its toll on me... its like not talking to a part of me.... i wish things change for the better and real soon...

as far as the second one is concerned, we were best of friends, we still are.. but somehow our professions are such that we cant talk to each other as much as we used to. i still have a smile on my face when i think of the hour long STD conversations that we used to have... about anything and everything... :o)

today was the first day at my gym too... my stamina has gone down to zero! i got tired in just 15 minutes.. but there will be a new day tomorrow...

i chose to end today with a question...

like every female, i too see a future for my self... i see waking up next to someone who loves me, for me... who loves my broken nose as much as i do... whom i respect more than me... will that ever happen? is there something called a Happily-ever-after???

The Tiny Vacation

Well, after my dear old nose and vocal cord acted out a lot did happen… my I GOT my revenge… muahahahaha

Thanks to the impossible voice rest, my voice is back to normal, but I cant talk as much as I used to.. doctor said that the node might come again if there is voice abuse…
So no unnecessary blah blah from now on… (except when I am on phone, I give my self that liberty! ;) )

Then my nose did have to give the final blow… my sinusitis got worse. So as soon as dad came out of his hospital, I went in for my surgery. There is almost no bone left in my nose… but its alright! :o)

Then I enjoyed a good tiny winy vacation… here are some highlights of that vacation…

!) I saw FOUR movies, that’s more movies that I saw in the last six months.
• Jaane Tu…. A beautiful movie…. Saw it three times actually… loved Jai and Aditi, well lets just say I know how she feels!
• Kismat Konnection: cute movie again.. (I am turning into a romantic movie freak! Hellpppppppppppp)
• The Lion king: always wanted to know what the fuzz was all about… well, now I know.. and it’s the best movie ever
• The Lion King II, Simba’s Pride: awwwww… I loved it too… wonder if the script writer was from bollywood… there was family, love, drama, revenge, betrayal, the helping hand (rafiki and spirit of Mufasa), and the final reunion… wow.. mast thi!

Apart from that I also got to see many videos, I swear I saw every show of Friends on youtube and same goes for Whose line is it anyway…. :o)

And ya, a lot of news too…
After the whole bomb thing started, I went out yesterday for the first time….
And what I saw surprised me…
Even though Baroda was on red alert and there was so much going on around, the people of Baroda was as relaxed as before… the streets were filled, coffee houses overflowing with people.. there was hardly anyone who was scared to be on the road (contrary to what the “sensational” news channels claim!). but, I have to admit, people were on a vigil.

Also saw this amazing video…
Have a look…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMl6EEwfm2M

Love and Hugs,
Adee.

PS: turns out that due to this mini vacation of mine, I gained around 6 kg… making me a total of 14 kg overweight! So I joined gym… morning! 6 a.m.!
:o(

I seriously think the heading of my blog needs to be changed..

It should read : CAT and my Weird Diseases!

Turns out that I am giving CAT, once AGAIN.
And turns out that I am on bed rest! AGAIN.

So I get up one morning and suddenly realize that my head is screaming out loud and I can barely stand. I thought that it would be just a one or two day thing. But the damn thing continued. So I went to a Doctor (yes, I finally did, without anyone pushing me to do so!). I had some blood test etc. done and he tells me that it’s a infection, because of which some levels in the blood test are a little higher than usual.

Then I turn to office again, as if nothing happened. By the way, I started taking doubt clearing of the bachchas at my office, so more speaking added to my profile! Hehehe,…. Just when I thought that work was getting interesting, my nose started acting weird again… and this time, it was out for revenge, of God Knows what! My Nose team up with my throat. In a normal cold, such a tag team is normal… but this is no “normal” team…. They proved to be more dangerous than I thought…..

I went to the doctor again… and I had a deja-vo moment…. Its was my dear old “friend” sinusitis. He recommended me to a ENT specialist. I went there. He looks up my nose and this is what the conversation was that followed (with what I was thinking!)

Doc: So what is the problem?

Me: I have a minor cold and my voice is gone (actually wanted to say: if I knew that I wouldn’t be here now, would i?)

Doc: So lets see…. Any major problems like this before…
ME: Yes Sir, I got operated for sinusitis once, the left one!

Doc: (looks up my nose and says) didn’t they correct ur middle septum???
ME: (OMG, if they didn’t, what was I doing carrying a bloody bandage on my torn nose for three days!) Yes sir, they did try to do something of that sort!

Doc: looks like ur sinus is acting out again!
Me: Ahan….

Doc: Do u mind if we do an endoscopy of ur throat, just to know what actually is wrong….
ME: Ya, ok Sir (as if I had any other option)

So then he puts anesthesia and then he takes a “micro-cam” out and puts it down my neck… yuck yuck yuck! It was the most horrible thing ever. After two minutes of looking around, the doc says, “looks like we have nodes on your vocal cord!”
My face is practically screaming out… “WTF????? Now what weird thing did I get????”

Turns out that on the side walls of my vocal cord there are small nodes that are formed, because of which there is a constant pain and irritation in my neck. It is caused by voice abuse. (the moment he said that an alter ego suddenly popped up on my shoulder, and gave me a nice smack on the back of my head. It went: I told u not to speak a lot.. but naaaaaa… u toh have to talk to people… u toh have to be “blab bla bla” all day…. Aab Bhugat! Huh!”)

And then he said something that would change me…forever……….
He said: the only way this is going to be cured is that you don’t speak AT ALL for the next fifteen days. If it goes down, well and good. If the node doesn’t go down, then we might have to take it out.”

In my head the entire scene had changed by now.
The doctor suddenly got a white wig and was sitting as a Judge in some court of ultimate justice. I was the “abla nari” in a white sari with the blue borders, with most innocent face ever.
And in the witness box in front of me, I saw… MY NOSE and MY VOCAL CORD…. They were smiling… as those corrupt politicians do when they provide false witness and the innocent one goes to jail…. They were smiling.. and I went into a muted :NNNNAAAAAAHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…………………..

Yeh kahan ka insaaf hai, my lord!

So then I leave the court room, with a sentence for silence for at least 15 days….
Believe me, for a female who talks for a living this is no less than a life sentence!

So now, my alter ego is constantly on my shoulder, making sure that I don’t talk… with full assistance from my father and my bosses (they gave me a leave for 15 days and lots of material to read!)

And my nose and my vocal cord are enjoying the 15 days of my silence…
but I promise, I WILL GET BACK…. With Vengeance, (read: MY VOICE!)

Muuahahahahahahhaha……Muahahahahaha……

Hi again…

The last few days have been good.. have been writing a lot. But nothing that can be posted on the blog.
Mom dad returned from their char Dham Yatra, and needless to say the super romantic couple had fun on the Yatra too! But I got bored for the 16 days they were gone! Plus Gravity its taking its revenge again! So I am home and not going to the office, which is awful again. I am working from home, and that is looking like an interesting future option … what say? ;)
There are a few things I miss about my office though. First of all the work, of course the work.. because it’s the most satisfying thing around.
Second of all, the window behind my cabin. I wanted to write about that window since long, but here I go…
There are a very few things see from there, the open skies, lots of trees, a hoarding (huge one) and pigeons(lots and lots of them!).
That is one places where I can just stare without thinking anything. Lagta hai jaise system hang ho jata hai! When things start getting a little stressful we just call for a tea and start looking out that widow… its unbelievably relaxing. Thinking about nothing and looking at how peaceful pigeons are, is something that gives me peace everyday…

Lately I have been reading Shantaram and its addictive… super addictive…
With it I am trying to complete Norman Lewis. Inshallah, will complete it in the next two days to come!

Khuda-Hafis for now! 

Love,
Adee

That faithful Sunday, not only did I realize that life I had to reconnect with my self again, but also realized that what I was in my school days and what I was in my college days is completely two different people. And after that, professional life changed me again; I have no idea for good or for the worse.

School was complete chup chup… college was so noisy and exciting and eventful… and professional life is so professional…. I am and always was always treated like a kid, but me works too… :D

Dad and mom left for Char Dham and I return to an empty home now… and I realize the importance of a companion, someone how stays by you, in better or for worse… be it your life partner or someone who loves you!

Well, last issue of the magazine for our office, I wrote two articles and now this edition also I am to write two more articles which is absolute fun! These days, evening are all about cold breezes, good songs (read: sham tanha, courtesy Sanchit), a drink, and creative writing… and boy,, I’m loving it! :-)

Love… Adee

Reading: iCon, Steve Jobs

Happy birthday to uuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy birthday to uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy birthday to my dearest Dadddduuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Happy birthday to uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Yes, today is my loveliest, cutest, funniest Dadu’s birthday! AND HE DIDN’T REMEMBER IT! Hehehee
That’s so him! He remembered that I will not go to office unless he makes steaming hot tea for me, but he didn’t remember his own birthday!
He is busy with his fifteen day “Char Dham Yatra” as he is leaving tomorrow. But it will surely be a very special day for him and I take full responsibility of ensuring that! \
I wanted to write how much he actually means to me, but then realized that my blog will be TOO small for me to do that! So idea dropped. Anyways, its 9 and I have to reach at office at 9:30! Hehehe

Chio,
Love u soooooooooooooo much Dadu!

Love…. Adee.

Hello to everyone!

Yesterday was a Sunday, and it was special in many different ways.

First of all, it was a Sunday, when I was not working! Now, this might be nothing new for all you IT geniuses out there, but for me IT IS A BIG DEAL! 

Second of all, I went to Barista to relax after like a zillion years! Surprisingly, the Baristas still remember m y taste in coffee after such a long time!

Third of all, I meet Sanchit. We don’t talk THAT regularly, but when we do, it goes on and on and on. And we can talk about anything and everything! But the main topics always revolve around coffee, books, blogs, travel, friends and college life!

Thanks to this Sunday, I have started blogging again and will start reading and documenting everything that happens on a more regular basis!

Anyways, got to rush rush for the office. It’s the first day of the month so lots and lots of work to do today.


Love…
Adee!

Reading: Shantaram and trying to read Thousand splendid suns!